Maybe staying in love, the fear that you can fall out of it one day, or that maybe you won’t have the courage to leave when the love has already gone.
It’s easy to fall in love, to find someone who is brand new to you, who makes you feel brand new. I think maybe that’s why it’s so thrilling, because you kind of get a second chance or third, or fourth– at finding that happiness that you lost with the first.
You can be a better partner, lover, friend. Each relationship draws out something essential in you- the parts that aren’t so easy to detect on first dates. These are your flaws- the things you don’t want to bare until necessary ; these are the parts that the right person will understand, will love, will treat like your silver lining- the part that makes you so unmistakably, essentially human.
But you see, that’s the scary part of falling, this sense that you trust someone with that very important and integral part of you- and hoping they will catch you when you find yourself there. Suspended in midair; somewhere between loving yourself and loving another.
So again, the hardest part in falling in love? It’s not the falling, it’s everything that comes after. And I still choose to do this with you.
Will you catch me on the way down?