“I loved people who were incredibly broken. I let their brokenness fill the holes inside of me. I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t need fixing, I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t need me.
But I wasn’t a hero, I was a fraud. Because, like the blind cannot lead the blind, the broken cannot fix the broken. But I loved them viciously, wholly, truly- as much as I could, with all that I had in me.
I saw worlds in their eyes, an escape from my own. Lending me their flesh for nights that weren’t memorable. Seeing their beauty behind all the pain. I found nothing in them, yet they found everything in me. As time passed, they needed me less and I needed them more. Until I wasn’t the girl they once met, and I was hollow again in their absence.
So, you asked me ‘what did I do?’
I learned to be alone, to be comfortable with myself in the 4 a.m.’s of each day, I let myself be alone- for once.
That was the day though, that I realized being alone is not the same as being lonely. Lonely can only be found, when you cannot be alone.”