-This is an open letter, to whoever I will love next-
I hope you’re nothing that I imagined you would be. I hope that you don’t tick off all the boxes that I’ve made sure the next person should have. I hope that it’s not an all or nothing love. I hope that you are living your life, too busy chasing dreams, and making plans. I hope you’re spending all your time.
Let me start by saying, I can be a little rough around the edges. My dreams used to feel like walls that felt like they would consume me, if I dared to dream too wildly. At times, my scars will show. They will be the gloves I put on to defend the nicked and scratched portions of my exterior. I am someone who has been built from a foundation of her choosing. Because I’m constantly being, and constantly growing. I wasn’t always this happy, this silly, this honest, this truthful. I wasn’t always this much- of anything. But slowly, I guided myself to be too much of everything. Because I’d rather paint my life with too much of anything, than nothing at all.
This is where you come in. Because I want to share my world with you. I want to waste great days laying around in the grass- sober from the sunburn, but drunk on your favorite memories. I want to fill you in, and be filled in, on all the things we missed. You’ll show your ghosts, and I’ll show mine too. I’ll accept them all with the grace and patience that you have taught me. We’ll want to grow and dream beside each other. All with each other’s support, and without each other’s judgment. I want to learn about your passions. And make them my own too. I want to share with you what makes waking up so easy, and going to sleep so difficult. Because I am so excited about living life.
You’ll know that I don’t like black licorice, candy corn, or the sounds of heavy metal. That I’ll read several books- all at the same time- because I was too indecisive to choose just one. Maybe you’ll like all the things that I don’t. And maybe I’ll learn to love them, because they are a part of you. We’ll also be the Tuesday kind of love- where we wake up after hitting snooze four, maybe five times. The coffee that was freshly brewed is now room temperature, because we couldn’t get out of bed. We would rather spend another five minutes looking out of half awake morning eyes, remembering how we are. Then eventually, we will lazily make our way into a semblance of a morning routine. Rushing out the door to work. All because it was five more minutes to share with you. Easily. Comfortably. Simultaneously.
I want to be surprised by you. I want you to challenge everything I have ever known. I want you to finally be someone I can stop comparing to all the others- because you are entirely your own. I hope that I can love you, and love myself, in tandem. Because I want to love you without losing myself, and only you will understand that best. I want you to do all the things you’ve ever wanted, and to know that I will never keep you from reaching the sky. We will champion each other’s dreams. And celebrate each other’s success. Lastly, I just want to spare some of your time, and spare some of my time, and spend it on each other. Something so much more valuable than money could buy, and something we can never seem to get enough of these days.
So, I hope you’re nothing that I imagined you would be. I hope that you don’t tick off all the boxes that I’ve made sure the next person should have. I hope that it’s not an all or nothing love. I hope that you are living your life, too busy chasing dreams, and making plans. I hope you’re spending all your time.
It’s nice to finally meet you. To see you again. Or maybe we just haven’t met quite yet. But know this, I look forward to loving you one day.¶