Changing perspective, one post at a time.
You were on the path to forgetting about the last year, and letting go of grudges. Pioneering yourself through the unknown and shaky ground of the future. Finally taking that leap to being free of all the ghosts that haunted you in the past. January came around, and you pep talked yourself enough to realize that some people didn’t deserve your love, and you deserved more of it.
But that was thirty something days ago, when fireworks flew above head- an international glowing symbol that life was starting all over again. You rewound the clocks, tore down old calendars, rid yourself of clothes that didn’t fit, and people who didn’t stick. So now, two months into a new year- why are you questioning yourself again?
Because it’s natural to feel the doubt that lingers, as you finally try to tackle the things on that list of yours. The one you write every turn of 365 days. The truth is, we aren’t scared of the things we do not know; we simply question if we have the capability to do the things we spoke incessantly about. The items you put on that list are the very things that push your invisible walls. They test each one of your boundaries, the foundation of a life you made so comfortable for yourself. But this life wasn’t made to be lived comfortably. If we stayed in the places that kept us comfortable, we’d stop growing, changing, pursuing the adventure of a fulfilling life.
So what if you make a complete fool of yourself, and get embarrassed. There was no guarantee, and there never is. But if you let go of the fear of embarrassment, doubt, and “I can’t do this.” You’re halfway there. The key is to look from the outside in, and see that you showed up- you’re doing the things you were afraid to begin, you’re putting actions to those items that were merely a thought. To conquer the list, you must start somewhere.
Now, onto those ghosts that I mentioned. I have them. You have them. We all do. The things we wish we could have done differently, said differently, maybe waited a little longer for, or should have jumped at the moment when we felt it was right. And there is the sad truth, we wait for moments to come, as if willing them will be enough. But rarely do we ever act. (But I digress, this is for another moment and another time.)
To this day, I still fight these battles with myself. Disappointed about the moments where I should have thought, and not acted. Or should have acted and thought less. We are only human. We chastise ourselves when we face the pivotal moment- when we could have changed things. But that was then, and well… this is now. Yes, many things could have been different, but this is the reality. So I encourage you to make it a damn great one. Those things that happened to you and those that did not-they may follow you around when you at times but, they DO NOT define you.
Your mistakes, will be yours alone. They will teach lessons that are necessary to learn- and often times the hard way. Each one of those instances where you wish you could have taken something back, are also leading you to moments where you know better. If I spent my whole day wishing away the things I did wrong; I’d be just as jaded as I was when decisions were as simple as turning a questioning glance to mom and dad.
That’s the value of the faltering moments, they teach us to stand on our own two feet. They are preparing us for lessons to teach others, to learn from our mistakes.
So, when you feel like you’re just as stagnant as you were before the fireworks. Remind yourself of the lessons you have learned, and the boundaries you pushed. If you’re going to compare yourself- compare yourself now, to who you used to be. Because we always want to be better. Better for ourselves. Better for the world. ¶
[Writers note: This is the beginning of a series Get Busy Living where we tackle some of the baggage and difficulties that we face day to day. Being the positive push that we sometimes need to keep on growing, and learning. From each other, and ourselves.]